|\/| | |\ | |--\ | |--- / / |\/| /--\ \ / | | |--- |\/| | | | | \ | | | | |-- \ \ | | |__| \/ |--| |-- | | | | | | \| |--/ \__ |--- / / | | | | | | | |--- | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- /-------------------------------\ | | | How to Get An HST modem | | for about $100 | | (or less) | | | \_______________________________/ Discalimer: This File is for entertainment purposes only and the topics discussed are of an illegal nature. What is discussed herin is not to by attempted in any way! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, lets get started....How many of toy have read that T-file about how to be get a USR Dual Standard modem for $325? I think most everyone has, and it envolved being a re-seller, or a sysop, or something. Anyways, who wants to mess with trying to fool USR, and besides, $325 is still a large chunk of money. So I devised a quick way to get an HST modem for about $100...here's how.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The First way..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The first thing you will need is two Service Merchandise stores After you have located two you are all ready to go.....Service Merchandise sells two modems made by Practical Peripherals. They are a standard 2400 baud, and an v.42 HST model. Now here's where the fun comes in. Both modem chassis are exactly the same other than the fact that one says 2400 baud, and one says 9600. What you will have to do is quite simple. Switch the guts. Buy the 2400 baud modem AND the 9600 baud..I know this will take an inital investment of about 700 dollars, but the 600 for the price of the 9600 baud will soon be refunded. Open up both modems...the main modem is just on a card that slides right out. Simply switch the insides of both modems. The only noticable difference will be that the lights don't exactly match up on the modems anymore. Then simply return the 9600 baud chassis (with the 2400 baud modem inside) for a full refund. This may sound risky, but its really not. There is hardly anyone in Service Mercandise who knows anything about computers, and if there is someone, they will work in the Sight & Sound department. Sice all refunds at Service Merchandise go to the Merchandise Pickup area, where all the morons who can tell you what's the difference between these two grills work, they won't notice anything awkward about the modem, and they will refund your money. There, you're all finished. You spent $100 for the 2400 baud modem, and got a 9600 baud! Life is good. The reason I suggested needing two Service Merchandise stores, is that it might be a better idea to return the modem in a different store than where you bought it (just in case). Service Merchandise also sells Packard Bell modems that follow pretty much the same design. So if you would like to do ith with the Packard Bell models go right ahead, its your choice. However the Packard bell high speed modem is just a v.42 and will connect at 9600 to an HST modem. Maybe Service Merchandise will soon sell a Dual Standard! One can only hope! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Second Way.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, I mentioned in the article there's a way to get the modem for even less than $100. And there is, in fact, much less, free in fact! The best time to do this is after Christmas when Service Merchandise gets a lot of returns. The thing you will do is buy JUST the 9600 baud modem, take out the guts, and return just the chassis. Now the reason I say do this after Christmas during the refund rush is simple. If you ever go to Service Merchandise, you will notice that when you return something they very rarely even look in the box to check if the item is actually in the box, they just throw it into a refund pile, and give you you're money back. The reason you don't want to try this during regular shopping days is that if a refund is for more than $250 then the store manager must process it through. The bad part is that while the clerk is waiting for the store manager, in all likelyhood he will open the box and find there is no modem in there. Then you've got trouble! But when you do it after christmas, there is such a rush on refunds, the departments do not have the time to call a store manager for every refund over $250, so they give the clerks access to do those refunds. Since the store averages about 50 refunds an hour right after Christmas, they will just open the box quickly, see that there is a chassis in there (they will assume the whole modem is there, and not just the chassis) and give you you're refund. Piece of cake. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Third Way..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The third way to do this like so. It is really a variation on the second way and will probably be your best bet on getting it for free. When you remove the guts of the modem, bring it back, and tell the clerk who you are refunding it to "When I opened the box, there was no modem there, just an empty chassis!" then be really pissed off and yell a lot. say stuff like "I had to drive all this way, and then back home, and there was nothing in there, blah, blah, blah...." Anyways, the dtore manager will be very apologetic, and gladly exchange your modem for you, and make sure this one is intact. Then take your new modem and get a refund at another Service Merchandise! Now you have a 9600 baud modem and it didn't cost you a cent. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some Final Notes..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I worked for Service Merchandise for more than two years so I know just about every scam there is, and I also know this one is absolutley fool proof! Look for more interesting ways to get cheap computer equipment from America's Leading Jewler.... Srvice Merchandise. Before I sign off, remember, the topic discussed in this file is of a very illegal nature and should not be attempted! Also feel free to distribute this file to whoever and however you want, but if you change it in any way, I'll come after you and stick a tennis ball up your ass! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Look for more files from Ivan Lendl, and the rest of the mindless crew, at Mindless Mayhem! 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