From the files of Mindless Mayhem, MM Issue 20! Released on 08/26/92 at 9:59 pm Sorry, no funky A in a circle, I lost that insert (oops). -- I am not sure of a good way to start out this file (but then, I am not sure on how to start out ANY of these files), as there is a lot to say on this topic. I also am not sure of exactly what type of information I intend to use due to the large amounts I have at hand, and what I have to edit to make use- able in a text file. I do not wish to give anyone or anyplace a bad name, but accidents do happen. Anyone's pseudonym in this file was added at their sole discretion, to avoid any matters of them getting in trouble with anyone else. -Great One 08/22/92 12:27 AM -- Hello, and welcome to another edition of Mindless Mayhem, the file that doesn't always live up to it's name. While it's true that here at the MM lab we have done some pretty mindless things, we have also done some partially, and some well thought out things. This file (I hope) is one of those well thought out things, with a serious message with humour mixed into it. General mindlessness is not very acceptable by societies standards, nor by me, and I typically reject a great deal of societies standards (but I do not exactly call myself a rebel for disagreeing with them), and as we all know, general mindlessness does not pay very well for itself in the long run. This file was completed after many hours of looking around, staring at the screen, chatting with users and eventually calling other boards to get the information I need, and I do not consider all of those to be mindless activities. While it's true that Mindless Mayhem is usually fun, it is not always the best term for our files. But, enough words of wisdom, on with the file. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The contents of Issue 20 are: o What of all of these K-Rad people? o What of all of these K-Rad SysOps? o What of all of these K-Rad Boards? o What is the significance of spelling Otto backwards? o Why, why, why do fools, why do they fall in love? (Ignore those last two) ---------------------------------------------------------- To my dismay many of the new users (as touched base with in file nineteen) are becoming what I and others call "K-rad". These users are often the bane of boards, and for the most part think of themselves as the almighty users of the realm of BBS's around the local calling area that they use, for fear that a B call will cost them more than 3.1 cents after 8:00 pm. These users are far from new, but are beginning to take a new form, as explained in the following text. Part I: Who are the K-rad users? It seems to be that most of the "k-rad" users are of the younger generation, typically 12 years old through 16 years old. A good deal of these people have never worked, and the parents have spoiled them rotten. They seem to have good equipment on their hands, but rarely have they actually gotten this hardware themselves. Those that do not own such items are often friends of those that do, and if not, well then they are not quite as spoiled I suppose. . . Continuing, they often have cutesie handles such as: Th†¤„t0z, Chaiyneeze Chaynesaw, °±²¤à0-/\/‘z‰‰²±°. You get the idea. Where these people think that those are 'cool' handles are beyond me. Yes, I am impressed that you have memorized the entire ascii table. No, I do not care that you know it. The k-rad's of the past used to have seemingly (not really) normal handles like:Karrot King, Master Dizaster Blaster, Diced Gonads, etc. Granted, these are not the most enticing handles, but I think that the Diced Gonads is a handle that you would most likely remember, and it is my belief that they pick these handles not only to be 'cool' but to be remembered. In many cases, they are also talked about. There is not one of you that haven't seen a user and thought (somewhere along these lines) "what a total fuckhead" (whoops, better be careful, I don't want to give out any handle ideas. . .). Now that you know what their names can be, and what their background could (quite possibly) be, lets take a look at their basic conversations with SysOps, and in the message bases of their favourite boards. Part II: Shove a sock in it Here is an example of a post off of a BBS in my calling area. I will not disclose the name or number of the board, and I have changed the handles as well. I do not wish to start a war, I just want to let people know what is happening out there. S> HEY you all I am going to open a new BBS IN about two weeks and S> its going to be awesome. its going to be called THE BARN SILO XII S> and its going to have as many files as the original TMS and even S> more so have your AUTO REDIAL ready. The soon to be sysop ANNOUNCED this message for all to read. Here's another neat message Msg #: [18/19] Base: ÄÄÄ H rdw…re ÄÄÄ Date : Tue 11 Aug 1992 8:44p Stat: Public From : The MeatBeater #12 To : All Title: For GREAT deals For GREAT DEALS on anything you want call.... BOTTOM LINE COMPUTING at (708) 394-1234 (312) 274-1234 and at eigther location ask for the correct persons name and then when answer say that this isin regards with ROCKBOTTOM COMPUTING then ask for what you want and I am POSSITIVE that they can get you a good de al on ANYTHING!!!!!! Thanx, The Meatbeater #12 P.S. send me mail if you have any questions [18:19] Read (1-19,=Next,?=Help) : -- What? -- More: Msg #: [21/23] Base: ÄÄÄ W rbo…rd ÄÄÄ Date : Wed 12 Aug 1992 3:23p Stat: Public From : The MeatBeater #12 To : All Title: I Reply: This message has 1 reply I am gay [21:23] Read (1-23,=Next,?=Help) : -- (Great One's Comment: No kidding!) -- Msg #: [22/23] Base: ÄÄÄ W rbo…rd ÄÄÄ Date : Wed 12 Aug 1992 3:50p Stat: Public From : Hercules #2 To : The MeatBeater #12 Title: Re: I Reply: This message is a reply to #21 and has 1 reply I know who you are,,, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I might be gay but at least I don't self suck myself.. HAHAHAH [22:23] Read (1-23,=Next,?=Help) : Msg #: [23/23] Base: ÄÄÄ W rbo…rd ÄÄÄ Date : Wed 12 Aug 1992 6:42p Stat: Public From : Not Fooled To : Hercules Title: Re: I Reply: This message is a reply to #22 HAHAHA I know who you REALLY are!!! Don't try to fool me...He hasn't been on this BBS since I called!! -- What cool posts! It's a shame the message base name didn't take in my word processor. I guess wordstar 5.5 just isn't good enough! Maybe its time to go back to edlin? Anyway, here's one of the BEST ones I found: -- Msg #: [6/8] Base: ÄÄÄ F‚dz ÄÄÄ Date : Sun 02 Aug 1992 4:24p Stat: Public From : Karrot King #14 To : All Title: "Fedz" I got one thing to say about these, dickless wonders that they call FBI Agents.....THEY SUCK DICK S000000000 BAD, IT'S PITIFUL! L8TR, _ _ __ /< /\ /< /< [] / /< / /\/ G [6:8] Read (1-8,=Next,?=Help) : -- Ha! Real mentality shows through! I am NOT making these posts up! These next ones are pretty good, too. But the response I made to it I think (well that's me thinking, anyway) is even better: -- Msg #: [1/2] Base: ÄÄÄ H ckng ÄÄÄ Date : Sat 08 Aug 1992 6:52p Stat: Public From : H†/\/\/\/\ˆ/< To : All Title: No messages? I'm surprised that there are no messages in this base. [1:2] Read (1-2,=Next,?=Help) : Msg #: [2/2] Base: ÄÄÄ H ckng ÄÄÄ Date : Sat 08 Aug 1992 10:54p Stat: Public From : Freyeing Fruk To : All Title: Hackers? WEll I guess all the hackers on this board are hacker wannabes.. Oh well, it is not our fault that the hackers on this board don't know shit! [2:2] Read (1-2,=Next,?=Help) : Which can only lead me to respond with: Msg #: [3/3] Base: ÄÄÄ H ckng ÄÄÄ Date : Thu 13 Aug 1992 12:30a Stat: Public From : Me, under another handle To : Freyeing Fruk Title: Re: Hackers? Reply: This message is a reply to #2 *** Quoting Freyeing Fruck to All *** M> WEll I guess all the hackers on this board are hacker M> wannabes.. Oh well, it is not our fault that the hackers on this M> board don't know shit! So start posting, wannabe. -- Ha! Well maybe it wasn't THAT funny. But still, I got a good rise out of it. You have to love those base names. The file bases were the same way! I decided to spare you that part, as the average human can handle only so much . It was almost as bad as those text files written by the guys that say: "I think this will work, but I dunno, but it sounds cool, so here is the way I think it would happen if someone wERE TO TRY IT. oOOPS caps lock" (Actually, that last comparison was pretty bad and had little to do with anything, but you have to admit that they were alike in the way that both are pretty nasty to read) I seem to have skipped the K-rad SysOp part. There isn't much to say about them; they are K-rad. Admittedly, if the board is K-rad, the SysOp is too. However, that does not mean that one K-radling can ruin the entire board, because all of us SysOps (at least all of the ones I know, and in- cluding myself) have let at least one K-rad user in by mistake. Some are actually smart, or are good at tricking people, because they can get through the new user questionairre and not run out of time, type d000d at all prompts, or not answer, "No way d0000000000d FED$UCK" [evil password, hehe]. But to give a sample of the (typical) K-rad SysOp, I will use the SysOp of the board I got the quotes from (see above). He is GOING to be a sophomore in high school. His father bought him his highspeed computer (I cannot remember if it was a 486 or 386. Either or, its still good.) He had nothing to do with the purchase of the huge HD or the USR HST 14.4 BPS modem he has, parental units did that shopping, too. These of course are the very first signs of k-radness. He must have gotten a hold of the stillwaters BBS list, because otherwise he wouldn't have made it as far as he got, because I don't know any reputable board that would let this guy on (hence the still- waters listing, etc.) So he calls some board (this is a re-enactment, so there can be some discrepancies in here), gets his dudical access level of 50 or whatever it takes for his 'elite' files (whatever those may be), and goes completely bonkers over the whole deal. So, now he gets the BBS list, and all the other pirate boards in the area are in trouble now, because the K-radman is on the loose. Since this guy has the high speed modem, people assume he cannot be that much of a lamer (and because I am 2400 baud, I probably AM considered a lamer! Darn.), so they let him on without too much difficulty. BAD IDEA! So he leeches what he can (phree philes, dewD!!!!!!!!!!!!) and then sees the 'BBS SOFTWARE BIN'. Usually, that stuff is free, so he gets that as soon as he can, and puts it up without reading the docs or anything at all. After a few hours of contemplation, he puts the board ON-LINE on the phone line that his father just happened to have as an extra for the computer. This board has no files, the SysOp has NO experience, not even has a Co-, and not only that, the guy has been around for a few months absolute tops. His twelve best friends are made Co-SysOps, and they all give him the files he needs to at least look like he has a 10 meg hard drive. (of course, he has a fucking huge one, the little prick.) So now him and his friends go on the Advertising Frenzy, posting everywhere and anywhere they possibly can, PD boards, 'Elite' boards, bathroom wall, they giggle about at school with all of their k-rad friends (Well soon to be, because the idea of FREE VIDEO GAMES spurrs them to get a modem.) So, the hapless user is ensnared into this cunning trap, a new board, a large HD, and a fast modem. What could possibly be wrong with that? Well, because the SysOp and his circle jerks, ah - buddies, his buddies (yeah that's it) have dominated the message base with what I have way up there, the user just decides to use the file base. Unfortunately, there's not much there, so the user decides to UPLOAD to get credit, possibly access to a base that isn't shown, maybe a higher level that is above all of this K-rad bullshit. Well, unfortunately (again) more than one person has done that by now, and the file base has gotten large already (because of the large HD and high speed modems), so now that user has good reason to call back (a mediocre selection of files). Now the moment of truth comes in, the SysOp breaks into chat (he was at school when you first called, but since he has little other social life (his twelve friends are merely people he WANTS to have as friends, so he bribes them with the Co-SysOp access)). DAMN! If you can withstand this form of cruel and unusual punishment, then I have to admire and respect you, because I'd die of hysterics if I chatted to this guy. There are also 'good' points to these boards and their SysOps'. For example, K-rad people are typically stupid, and are easily amazed. Just by telling them you have access to text files that can blow things up will get you Co-SysOp access. Lying to them on purpose and saying you are a SysOp (or Co- for that matter) on another board far, far away will promise high file points and high access, if not co-sysop access. These fucks will believe anything. Tell them that you are a Fed, and they'll buy that too, and take the board down for a few days before realizing what had happened. Or, if they ARE smart and laugh in your face, dial 796-9600 (if you are in the 708/312 area) and then to a reverse listing on their number (since they haven't unlisted it) and get all of their info and then tell it to them. This promises some serious shitting on their part. You can almost see them at school: "D000d sum phed guy kawlled and sed dat hee wuz ghunnah bust mee l8r on cuz of miaye 'eeleet' filez ahn warezez man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That does work (the CNA reverse listing). Try it sometime, and save the conversation and send it to me, I'll put it in a future issue of MM (that's assuming I don't get lynched by a group of screaming k-rads). That pretty much wraps up this issue. I hope you liked it, I know I did. But here's another question for you to ponder on later in life when smoking leetle green sticks (k-rad!) or just on the pot (and not smoking it): What does "K-rad" mean, anyway? Who the fuck came up with that word? Is it like the "K" in "K-Mart"? If so, I can see what they mean (But back then, to be K-rad was to be Kewl) So, send all of your K-rad question answers to: Melvin Waznikki PO BOX 958542 Hoffman Estates, IL 60195-8542 -- That PO Box is also the now Mindless Mayhem PO Box, and you can write to us by addressing it to that name. Melvin is a fake name, it was k-rad so we picked it (David Nelson was just too common of a name to use as a fake one). Destiny Knights BBS is now accepting new users under the condition that they aren't k-rad. There is no new user password, and the number is 708 307 3768. I think we got about 1026 text files (or something like that) and I have to add about 700 more (no doubt a few hundred of the new ones will be repeats, so make that about 400 more). Just don't be a total fuck in the questionairre, eh? It's hard, we know, but hey, it's to weed out what we don't want... ALSO, that tennis cannon we promised, well, we LIED! Summer is almost over! I'm sorry about that, but I was too wrapped up in working to worry about it, and The Beastmaster is now off at college, so we won't be hearing from him for a while, either. Since we are a small publication, we are always looking forward to having a new member of the crew. Whether it's a one time thing, or if you want to be a member and to stay, just drop us a line and a file you authored. Oh boy! "dUH, i LOIKE STRAWBERRIES!!!" - gEORGE ---EOF