Jokes

Anti UNIX:

• If Unix is the answer, then it must have been a stupid question.
• Unix is the only virus with a command-interface.
• How can an operating system from 1970 (UNIX) be more modern than an operating system from 1978 (VMS)?
• Unix - the first computer virus.
• NFS = Nightmare File System.
• Berkeley is famous for LSD and BSD UNIX. I don't think that is a coincidence.
• Sure, the Unix file system corrupts your files, but look how fast it is!
• Friends don't let friends use Unix.
• Unix - the ideal operating system for CPU's that are never powered up.
• Nothing wrong with Unix that a total redesign and rewrite can not fix.
• UNIX will be preempted by NT. UNIX doesn't know it yet - it won't notice until it's too late, because UNIX is the Yugoslavia of software, at war with itself -- but it's all over.
• The users of Unix systems said speed wasn't an issue when the Alpha chip was released. The same people tell their wives and girlfriends that size doesn't matter.
• If Unix were a beer, then it would be shipped in open casks so that anybody could piss in it before delivery.
• UNIX is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
• UNIX is akin to a religion to some. If things aren't done like they are in UNIX, then they must be bad. Sorry, I don't believe in this religion.
• UNIX is a four-letter word!
• VI = Virtually Incomprehensible.
• Unix is about as user friendly as a blow in the back from an ice-pick, only not quite as productive.
• What has happend, when a system-manager gets gray-haired in one day ? One day with a UNIX system !
• How do you pronounce UNIX ? You Nix !
• Cretin and UNIX both start with C.
• The scariest thing about Jurassic Park was that the control systems were Unix.
• Why is using a UNIX system like being an Enuch? Everytime you go to do something important, you realize something critical is missing.