Top ten signs you spend too much time on the internet

10. You opening line is, "So what's your home page address?"

9. Your best friend is someone you've never met.

8. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 1.1" on one of the clouds.

7. You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.

6. You feel driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.

5. You are diving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening toward the flimsy guardrail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You look for the "Back" button.

4. You visit "The Really Big Button that Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.

3. Your dog has his own Web page

2. So does your hamster.

And the No. 1 sign that you have overdosed on the WWW:

When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.